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The Guidebook Theorem, an observation-based set of laws I have gradually been formulating over the years, is as follows. Guidebooks are useful for telling you the following:

  1. Where all the western tourists will be heading to and when;

  2. In which hotels all the western tourists will be staying;

  3. Which sights will be full of tourists;

  4. What goes on in the mind of a guidebook writer.

From these four pieces of information we can logically make the following deductions:

  1. How to avoid western tourists, and how to get off-season prices and avoid peak-season rip-offs;

  2. How to avoid the Slack Hotel Syndrome, a disease that strikes hotels who are recommended in guidebooks, and who therefore do not have to make any effort to get customers, resulting in a lack of service and a corresponding drop in value for money (often nearby but less well-known hotels will improve because they have to work harder to attract travellers who treat their guidebook like the Bible);

  3. How to avoid sights and sites that are ruined by hordes of button-clicking tourists and the accompanying touts;

  4. How lucky I am to have realised that guidebook writers are guidebook writers rather than travellers: when you're writing and investigating you're not going to have the time to get too far off the beaten track, so those places that get nothing more than a paragraph are well worth visiting before things change too much.

And that's why I carry the Lonely Planet, because it's the most popular guide and therefore helps me avoid the masses very effectively. Thanks LP, you're the greatest...

A London Underground sign

My latest project – walking the Tube – is for charity; you can find out more here.