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Mark Moxon's Travel Writing

Australia: Drop Bears

It's quiz time! You should by now have a pretty good idea what the general Australian psyche is like, so see if you can identify who's talking to whom in the following conversations, all, of course, overheard on a bus. It's the same two people in every instance, just to make it easy. Here we go...

Conversation A

The view into the rainforest canopy on Hinchinbrook Island
Keep your eyes on the forest canopy as you wander round; you never know what's just above your head

'Of course, you've got to be careful of drop bears: they're everywhere at this time of year.'

Conversation B

'Of course, you won't be able to open a bank account with an Australian bank.'

Conversation C

'You know you told me that you guys all ride around on kangaroos in Australia?'

Conversation D

'You know Tasmania? The little island off the bottom of Australia?'


Yes, they're all genuine conversations between serious Aussie wind-up merchants, and gullible tourists, who end up genuinely believing that Aussies ride around on kangaroos, have problems with drop bears, don't let women open bank accounts and chain their island states to the mainland. I kid you not: I nearly fell for the drop bear story in Melbourne (but not quite) and there's plenty more where they come from. Never trust an Australian who grins wickedly all the time...